I'm going to be taking a bit of a vacation. On Monday night, right after work, I'm going to drive to Connecticut to be with my mom who is having a hysterectomy the next day. I"ll be there until Sunday. Jeff looked at me and said, "What am I going to do?" We've never really been apart that long and we've slept just about every night together since meeting. He's a sweetie to sleep with; far more responsive than anybody else I've been with. He comes to bed, he cuddles up, he says things to me. He wakes up, he cuddles up, he gathers me in. Man � he's good!

I'm excited to be with my niece for that long, but in the past, I've always felt a tremendous deal of stress in my mother's house. Perhaps while she's in the hospital for three days, I'll clean it like crazy and try to organize everything, because it drives me crazy how incredibly cluttered it all is. I won't have any money at all to spend, so I'll have to eat a lot of pasta. I have zero dollars to play with; just enough to pay for gas and tolls and then I'm back at work. Fortunately, I'll get paid three or four days after I get back, so I won't be starving or anything. I will have to scrounge to get the cats food. I hate money. Has anybody out there noticed?

I informed my bio-dad that I'd be there that long and offered to try to see him. He reminded me his birthday is next Thursday. HE REMINDED ME HIS BIRTHDAY IS NEXT THURSDAY. There is no reason in the world for anybody out there, reading this, to resent that as much as I do. I wrote back and said, "Yeah? Well, mine is next month. And since you're the adult/parent, I expect my gift to be better." So there. Take THAT!

I think that what I need from him is an apology. A big fat responsible apology that says, "I take responsibility for not being there for you and not taking care of you and not offering to help you in any way." And then we can start fresh. But until he does it, I just resent the hell out of him. All I want these days is for him to give me money, as if that will make up for something. But I'm pissed. "Next Thursday is my birthday." So the fuck what? How many birthdays have I had without you around, or Christmases, or Father's Days? Go smack yourself.

I need a good long rest, I think.

Tomorrow is Good Friday and we get the day off. That's a good thing. I'm going to give blood at 12:45 and then I think I'll go to the gym, or wait until the one hour cycling class I've been going to at 5:30 every Friday. It's a workout, let me tell you. Tonight I have to go to the gym and lift some weights. I gotta tell you though: it's been harder and harder to get there. In a month and a half, I have been stellar at going. I lost 4% body fat in that month and a half. The weight is the same, but I'm more muscle and I love it. But I've been so tired lately and so I've been slacking off. I've also been lazy in taking my medicine. I have to refill that too. And I'm going to the doctors on Monday. I've been using the ring for birth control and I really like it.

Blah blah blah. Anything else that you think of that I can ramble on about, just let me know. *smirk*